I've been getting a LOT of messages asking the same question: "How do I actually start The Rattlin' Bog at a session without making a fool of myself?" So here it is. The definitive guide. Twenty-four years of experience distilled into one post.
Step 1: Choose Your Moment
You cannot start The Rattlin' Bog at the beginning of a session. Absolutely not. The session needs to be warmed up first. You need at least an hour of reels and jigs under everyone's belts. People need to be loose. Comfortable. Possibly on their third pint. The sweet spot is about 90 minutes in, after a good set of reels but before anyone's started packing up.
Step 2: Start Slow (This Is Crucial)
The number one mistake people make is coming in too fast. The first verse should be SLOW. Almost conversational. You're telling a story, not running a race. "Ho ro the rattlin' bog, the bog down in the valley-o..." Nice and easy. Let people catch the melody.
Step 3: Build Energy Gradually
Each verse should be slightly faster than the last. Not dramatically — just a touch. By the time you hit the bird on the branch, you should be at a comfortable medium pace. The acceleration really kicks in around the nest verse.
Step 4: The Hand Gestures
This is the secret weapon. When you get to the cumulative bit — the bit where you list everything backwards — you need to conduct. Point downwards for "bog," spread your arms for "tree," mime a branch. It sounds daft but it WORKS. It keeps people on track and it looks class.
Step 5: Managing the Speed
By the egg verse, things will be moving fast. By the bird-on-the-egg verse, it's chaos. This is CORRECT. The chaos is the point. Your job is to hold the rhythm. Stamp your foot. Keep time. Be the anchor.
Step 6: The Flea Verse
When you hit the flea verse, the whole pub should be shouting. If they're not shouting, you haven't done your job. The flea verse is the CLIMAX. It's the summit. Everything has been building to this.
Step 7: Dealing With People Who Don't Know the Words
There will always be someone who doesn't know the words. This is fine. The beauty of the song is that the chorus repeats constantly. By the third verse, they'll have it. By the fifth, they'll be leading. By the flea verse, they'll be standing on a chair.
Step 8: The Ending
After the final run-through, hold the last note. Let it ring. Then silence. Then everyone cheers. Then someone buys you a pint.
That's it. That's the whole process. If I can do it — a nervous lad from Ennis who still gets stage fright after twenty-four years — you can do it too. Get out there and start a Rattlin' Bog this summer.
For the correct verse order, check out my definitive guide. I will fight you on it.
Slan go foill, BogLord2002